2009 Season Begins!

There are four open secrets in the NFL right now. The first is that Running backs are like NBA big men, porn stars, singers, wrestlers and female sideline reporters in HD: When it goes, it goes. You can’t stop it. There are a few exceptions but once a back hits 30 it goes away fast. The second is that Al Davis can no longer competently run an NFL team because he might have turned into a sea monster (more to come later). The third is that every pregame show has too many guys and the networks know this, only they won’t do anything about it because they all have made one of those Randolph and Mortimer Duke $1 wagers to torment us. The fourth is that anyone dating one of Visanthe Shiancoe’s ex-girlfriends now is being ridiculed endlessly by his friends and forced to change his fantasy team’s name to “Hallway Hot Dogs.”

I haven’t been this excited for a Vikings season since ’98. There I said it! #4 has ridden into town on a white horse (and torn rotator cuff) to lead us to Miami. In addition to #4, we added an explosive playmaker in Percy Harvin, and of course, we return EJ Henderson who was well on his way to a Pro Bowl season in 08 before his injury. I’m also expecting Visante Shiancoe to have a big year. He really came to life in the 2nd half of last year and has been looking great this pre-season. A tight end in Favre’s offense has always had career years. If all else fails, Shiancoe can pummel opposing players with his love hammer.

Let’s not forget that we return a stingy defense and the best running back in football to lead the charge. As long as Favre adjusts to not having to take the risk to be successful as opposed to be the gunslinger Madden fawned over the Vikings are building the fans up for the greatest disappointment since the ’98 NFC title game. Its going to be awesome and we’re going to go down in flames. We all know its going to happen. I’m still not going to waver in my support for this team. Anything is possible with the squad that has been assembled. This is a Super Bowl caliber team but its still our Vikings. No one will be happier to watch this team in Miami but history makes me temper my enthusiasm.

Maybe since this year its been the Twins collapsing this will be the year the Vikes suprising everybody and making the run we’re all hoping they do. No matter what this year is going to be fun to watch.

P.S.
Since its been awhile I think I have to say David Kahn is a sexual assault away from becoming Isiah Thomas. It needs to be said.

The Year of T-Jack begins a month early

I have always thought that Tarvaris was where third downs went to die but after 6 quarters I’m patiently optimistic.  I’m not sure if we’ve been witness to a turning point in the season and career of Tarvaris or yet another Minnesota sports build’em up only to tear them down.  I’m hopeful but resistant to say T-Jack has learned anything in his time riding the much needed pine.

For me the best throw of the week is a toss-up between his shoulder fake on the Wade TD and the Iraqi guy throwing his shoe at Bush. I couldn’t have been more suprised Sunday by a 4 TD performance out of Jackson if my dog had greeted me after his morning glory by speaking Spanish. 4 TD’s?!?! Are you kidding me?! But to be fair his success was against Detroilet and Arizona. Atlanta is a little bit more of a test so let’s hope this is for real and clinch a week early to give everybody a week off to heal up that needs it.

 

P.S.

I would be remiss if I didn’t address the 99 championship game. I still shake almost uncontrollably when I see Vikings vs. Falcons but who can blame me? I really hope Jared Allen hits Matt Ryan so hard Morten Anderson’s mother has heart problems.